fartless thoughts...

My NYE Mix

2009-12-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

"1. The Happiest Girl In The Whole U. S. A. - Donna Fargo
2. Help Me - Joni Mitchell
3. Paper Planes - M.I.A.
4. Creeper - Islands
5. Punch You In The Eye - Phish
6. wear and tear - Tom Brosseau
7. We All Belong - Dr. Dog
8. Love In The Harbour - A Band of Bees"

Dive Bars....

2008-11-12T05:16:00.000-08:00

I love dive bars. It's usually the place where no one knows your name and the people don't care if you came. My visits to the local watering hole are few and far between, but when I am out I like these shabby establishments. I suppose the biggest attraction is that I, most likely, will not run into someone I don't want to see. No one cares what I do for a living and wants to make stupid small talk. A trip to the dive bar, for me, means fulfilling the initial goal: to get drunk with the comraderie of strangers. I know the night has been a success if I spend 10 bucks on the juke box and dance to classic rock all night.

As of late I have notcied the increase of violence at a couple of dive bars in town. Are people attracted to violence? It makes me sad because I, too, love these bars. The only alternative is to visit a more upscale and expensive bar, which provide me nothing but boredom. My latest patterns of social drinking have been in the confinements of my own home. It's cheap, it's safe, and there is no dress code. If the dive bars can't get it under control, I will continue to stay home.

Do I sound like a drunk?

Rock O' Love

2008-04-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

Attention folks out there in tv land. For those of you who care, Brett Michaels has found his rock of love! After years and years of dating the same type of women, Brett has decided to go with someone his own age! "Last season I made the wrong decision and sacrificed my rock of love. I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. This season I have found my rock of lust, rock of like, AND my rock of love." If you still have not watched the season finale, you are in for a treat. Instead of ruining the surprise, I will let you tune into VH1 ans see the outcome yourself. Oh...and Brett has hair underneath that bandana as you will see in the season finale.

FLDS

2008-04-16T10:29:00.001-07:00

I am now a member.

Contra Dancing

2008-04-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

This weekend I am headed to Vermont to take part in a community contra dance. The last time I have done anything like this was in the fourth grade in gym class. I am looking forward to this event, mostly, because my fiance has agreed to try it out. The only time he ever dances is when he imbibes 2 or 3 long island ice teas, or when the music is of slow nature. You see, we are having a contra dance for our rehearsal dinner and we want to look like we are well practiced in front of all of our guests. Should be interesting to say the least...

headaches and stuff...

2008-04-10T06:22:00.001-07:00

Is it possible to have a headache that lasts more than a month?

Top Ten Cereal List

2007-04-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

10. Grape nuts

9. Honey Bunches of Oats

8. Cinnimon Toast crunch

7. Golden Grahms

6. Cheerios

5. Peanut butter Cap'n Crunch

4. Lucky Charms

3. Life

2. Cocoa Puffs

1. Cinnamon Life

Bonbon

2007-04-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Just so you all know, to your left is a Bonbon. This particular bonbon has a cherry inside. Let me give ya'll a heads up on something. Bonbon in Spanish is Bombon. Bonbon in Portuguese is Bombom. Weird, huh?

slippery slope

2007-04-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

I hate condoms. Condoms are for dirty people. Condoms send the message that people can just have sex all the time. Putting condoms in schools will make kids think that it is okay to just fuck all the time. People who believe in condoms are usually atheists. I hate athiests. Atheists are messengers sent from Satan to steal all of our innocent children's souls. Atheists love condoms. Athiests also love illegal immigrants. The end.

brilliant!

2007-03-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

Ricky Gervias is brilliant...if you have 9.5 minutes, and you think making fun of the bible is funny, then watch this.

Air Altman!

2007-03-29T07:26:00.001-07:00

Okay. Which one is me, and which one is Two Can Anne?

Today I feel...

2007-03-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

like this.

my favorite US attorney...

2007-03-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

my favorite US attorney has a first name it's Harr-eee-et! My favorite US attorney has a second name it's M-I-E-R-S. I love to see her every day... and when she gets fired I want to say....that Speedy Gonzalez has a way of slicing up mier's Va-jay-jay....

Let it

2007-03-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

snow.

10 Signs that you are driving behind a brainless moron.

2007-03-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

10. The person is front of you has a Jesus fish on their car.
9. Any Nascar stickers are present.
8. A support our troops ribbon is displayed.
7. NRA sticker
6. "W" do I need to explain that one?
5. You can see the glare of tv's through the rear windows (come on folks! give your kids a book!)
4. The driver litters out the window.
3. Vanity plate.
2. stuffed animals and or hats displayed in the rear window.
1. the most important sign that you are driving behind a moron is when the vehicle is a HUMMER!

Goodbye Nebraska...

2007-02-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

Hi

I just had a thought. Let us imagine that, after a lengthy war, the United States decides to cut Nebraska out of the Union. The Government gives all who live there a chance to migrate out of the state, but many decide to stay and make Nebraska into its own Nation. Years go by...the United States decides to open sweat shops in the landlocked state because the dollar goes furthur there. The once, hearty state, has turned into a thrid World slum. The United States issues guest/worker permits to the Nebraskan Government to help those who are born into a broken Nebraskan republic. Shanty towns save up money to send their most eligable young woman to work in the US and when she goes, she is raped, and then sent home because she has been naughty.

This folks, is how the World is...except Nebraska is not the shanty state...it is Mexico, it is Guatelmala, Honduras, even South East Asian nations. Yes, these countries have corrupt governments, but we cannot criminalize those who seek refuge in our country. These "illegals" are breaking our laws-yes-but they would be commiting an even worse moral law by allowing their families to grow up hungry, abused, dirty, and malnourished.

We need to stop thinking about this World as having borders. We are all homosapien. People are OUR species....there should be no boundaries when it comes to us.

Instead of looking at immigration as a black and white topic, we should start focusing on all of humanity and hold those accountable who make the World poor...It starts with me! It starts with you!

Florida, USA.

2007-01-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

Hey all! Can anyone tell me what's up with Florida? What's the deal down there? I really do not get it. It seems that, as of late, I keep overhearing conversations of people who can't wait to move there. What's so great about Florida? I mean, can you really justify your reasons for moving there based on weather? Isn't that a little superficial? Isn't Florida superficial?

I'm gonna list the qualities about Florida that I like before I complain about it more. I like 1. Key West 2. Marine biologists 3. Environmental activists 4. save the turtles 5. cuban americans who have managed to escape Fidel's regime.

Other than that I believe that the entire state of Florida is FAKE! FAKE FAKE FAKE! From what I know, Florida was once a swampy state enriched with a thriving wildlife. Floridians then came in a SUCKED out the water in order to build their own habitats...ugly habitats I might add. I know this because when you watch COPS there are many episodes based in Florida where people in oversized SUVs are racing away from the Popo. You can see the boring housing tracts in the background. I wonder how a child growing up in Florida can really understand the World when it is masked with cheesy highrises, boring housing tracts, monotnous shopping centers, and tanning salons on every corner.

Tanning salons. I know, I know, they are everywhere. But come on people. We all know your tan is fake because you look like a browned piece of wonder bread. It's dreadful. Senior citizens move to Florida to finish off their days because they can forget about their worries. Life is supposed to be easy for them at that point in their lives. Forgetting their worries should be an old person's job. But when I see 18-30 year olds talk about Florida Florida Florida all I am led to believe is that they want nothing to do with the real world. I mean come on! Why travel the world when you've got Epcot center. Why go anywhere when you can move to Florida where the World is reinvented by theme parks, resorts, clubs, and housing tracts.

Okay. So every day I read the local newspaper where you can see updates of students who have gone off to college and are making the dean's list, or being sent of to Iraq. Wheneve I see a young woman or man who has decided to attend the University of Florida I can't help but think that they are not going there to get an education. No. They are going to University of Florida to get a tan, pierce their belly button, go on spring break, and fuck and be fucked at the same time. Basically a four year party. Don't tell me you are in your room studying hard for that dream job. No. You are in Florida to work on your body and learn to use it as an asset...as if you don't have any other assets to bring to a job.

I guess I feel that Florida is so fake that mose people there are hiding from something real. It's all about how you look and not about how you think.

I emailed my friend Adam who lives in Florida so he could give me some pros and cons about the state. here are his answers.

pros:

--warm
--sunny
--low gas prices

cons:

--jeb fuckin bush
--old people (this could also be a pro, depending on who you are)
--hurricanes

I'd like to know your opinion. And please, feel free to correct me. But no harsh words please. This is my opinion and it will only be changed by coherent answers that make real sense to me.

Thank you and goodbye.

gay balls.

2007-01-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

hello everyone out there in blogger land!

have you seen the updated "head on" commercial? it's great.

have a nice day!

Enough Already!

2006-12-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

Is America turning into one big cheese ball? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE eating cheese, but pretty soon the Earth will blow it's own ass out with the amount of cheese it lets its inhabitants consume.

The cheese comes in the form of these:

yes folks, these:

And I am getty pretty sick of it. Whatever happend to the harmless christmas lights that go on the shrubs? I'll even take the plug in candles and the occasional team of reindeer. but this blow-up shit? wtf? i don't want to here another person complain that they can't afford heat, or food for their family. as long as people are buying this shit, they're asking for it.

Cat, Dog, or both?

2006-12-13T12:04:00.000-08:00

I gotta get some shit off my chest. I HATE it when people make assumptions about cats without ever having a cat. What I hate more than that are people who believe that it is a fact that dogs are better than cats.

My boyfriend's mother recently sent me one of those forwarded e-mails....you know, the ones that you rarely look at, but do if you are bored? Well I decided to check this e-mail out the other day because it was called "Buy a Dog". I thought that the article would pertain to pet shops vs. shelters because I am so anti- pet shop. Instead, I got this.

Subject: Fw: BUY A DOG

if you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section .....

then buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you .....

then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it ...

then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want .....

then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies.

then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores .

&nb sp; then buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

! then buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness .

then buy a cat!

This last part I hate especially. This last part demonstrates the mentality of folks who really no nothing about cats or have any respect for them. You see, I have no problems with dogs, but you can't compare dogs and cats. They are so different! That is why I have come to a conclusion about folks who have this horrible mentality. Cats have strong personalities. They stand up for their rights. If a cat does not like something, they are not going to pretend that they think it is great. Just like many humans, a cat's repect needs to be earned. If you touch the cat in a way that may cause discomfort, they are going to let you know. Once you have won over the heart of a cat, he or she will be your companion for life.

I used to have this theory that men who owned dogs and no cats would be too macho and would be selfish in a relationship. This is because dogs are the kind of pets that boost a man's self esteem by being there at every call. You can practically beat a dog and it will be loyal to you. On the other hand, I also believed that men who owned a cat would be more compassionate and sensitive to a woman's needs. They would also practive respect when it came to a woman's needs.

Well my view has not really changed all that much, but I do know that not every man is like my stereotype. Don't get me wrong, dogs are great! But, don't be that person that judges cats and says they are lazy or only comes home to eat or sleep, or does not care about you. Those types of people say that only because they do not know how to please a cat, or how to be patient, or understanding.

That's all.

Oh...and don't buy a cat. Adopt!

nonagenarian

2006-12-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

hi there.

today i am going to talk about the day that i got violated by a nonagenarian. i want to start off by saying that i always had this idea that old people get sweeter in their old age. i suppose it is because my Grama was a sweet old lady, and also that old people tend to be more vulnerable.

i remember thinking that even the meanest person in the world would all of a sudden become mr. or mrs. nice person once their skin turned to wrinkles...as if he or she had seen the world and it would be time to sit back and be pleasant. boy was i wrong!

i used to work for a peace and social justice lobby in santa barbara, california. my job was to knock on a minimum of thirty doors a night in a given neighborhood and spread the agenda of my organization. often times i would knock on the door of an older man or woman who would not care about the organization, but instead, would want to chat because they were lonely. it was a mistake that newbies on the job would make considering the goal was to keep moving and only spend time with folks who were on the same page. you'd be surprised by how many older folks are lonely.

i could go on forever talking about old ladies who gave me tours of their houses and even showed me their photos albumns. sometimes they would make me a pot of tea and encourage me to stay longer. see what i mean? old folks gorw sweet in their later years, right? WRONG. not neccesarily true.

early on in my job i went with a group to Fresno, where we knocked on thousands of doors over the course of a week. I happened to stumble upon an apartment complex that looked similar to a motel six. i knocked on a door and almost left when all of a sudden a man opened the door a crack. he had no ass and his pants were pulled all the way up to his chest. "come in, dear" he said. before i went in i asked him if he was against the occupation of Iraq. He replied that he was indeed against it and said again, "come on in".

two hours later i was still in this man's apartment. he offered me coke after coke while i watched him chain smoke next to his oxygen machine. i did not have the heart to leave him. he was a world war II vet and could not stop talking about his experiences. when i finally asked him if he wanted to help out with my organization's cause, he dodged the question. he did not want me to leave. how could i leave this helpless, lonely, old man?

somehow i managed to get myself out of his apartment and while we were saying our goodbyes he reached out for a hug. you can't deny a 90 year old man a harmless hug! so this is how it happened. he said, "a hug?" and i went in to hug him. immediately after the hug he says, "and a feel?" and before i could move, a pail, hairy, and shakey hand managed to grasp my right breast. he squeezed it like he might squeeze one of his stress toys. it was one of the ICKYest feelings i have ever had in my entire life. more icky than having a pap smear, and possible more icky than seeing someones brown ear wax fall onto their shoulder.

i would like to know your views on this story. when i told my co-workers no one seemed to think it was odd. in fact, many of my comrades told me that the "cop" made this nonagenarian's year. did i do a service to the senior citizen community? would it have been right for me to kick this guy in the balls?

well, i did not do anything about the situation except for feeling gross about it. it also taught me that old folks still have the same desires as younger folks, but are alienated from the mainstream and appear sweeter. i believe this sweetness comes from a longing to be with others. it must be weird to see your generation die and it probably gets to the point where no one wants to think you are beautiful anymore. no one wants to hear your stories. and perhaps, no chick will go home with you unless you have money.

I'm a big kid, look what I can do!

2006-12-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

Hey Folks! Guess what? I feel as if I have reached a major milestone in my life. I didn't get engaged, I'm certainly not preggers, and no, I did not shave my head again. Give up? I bought my first couch!!!!!!!!!!!! You'd think that after buying a new home that I would feel old, but no. Nine whole months of having a mortgage does not make me feel old, instead it makes me feel poor. I did not really own any nice furniture before this weekend. I can't complain, my parents let me use the couch we used to have in our basement growing up. Besides the fact that there is still a reminiscent odor of cat urine from my childhood pet Lucille, it was a nice first piece. It even had a pull out bed...a very uncomfortable one at that.

But now folks, I am a new person. I have a COUCH that I can call my own. I have a couch with no odors! It even came with an ottoman! Here are some pics.

Cozy, huh? I love it because I can fit my ENTIRE body from head to toe going each way. No more of this "legs on the coffee table" shit. Aaron, my bf, is also pshyched. We are splitting the cost over a 12 month payment period with no interest!!! woohoo!

The point of this entry is to tell folks that I feel complete. I've got my man, got my place, got my felines, and now I've got my couch. What more could one need? Next on my wishlist: a synthesizer keyboard from Guitar center.

An old time fave...

2006-10-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

In the New England area there is a chain of restaurants called Friendly's. Friendly's is an ice cream parlour that also serves high calorie breakfasts, lunches, and dinners.

This establishment started in Western Massachusetts and slowly made it's way all over the six New England states and even crawled out the the mid west. If you are from the Northeast, you will surely have an early Frienly's memory. I remember being little and going with my family. If there ever was a comfort food, in my book it would be Friendly's. There is something about the old time flavors staying the same, as well as the basics from the kids menu. For example, you can get a tuna salad in a hot dog bun. Pretty simple, right? But they still make the tuna the same way they did 40 years ago. The same goes with the kids desserts.

Mr. Cone head is someone who always made me very happy. Perhaps it was because he was friendly- hence, the name. If you ever get a chance, you should try this cozy ice cream parlour. It will put you in a good mood.

baby not beany

2006-10-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

some time back i told folks we were gonna have a bonnaroo baby...

this baby aint got beans.

Let's get some...

2006-10-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

Beanie Babies.

Let's get some...

Let's get some beanie babies...just some, not a lot...well okay a few, i mean a dozen, i mean HOLY SHIT these annoying things are taking over my life! WTF! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am gonna be killed by a fuckin beanie baby!

actually, i do not collect beanie babies, but if i did that is what would happen to me.

What comes from my hometown..

2006-10-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

Did you know that I am from Swampscott, Massachusetts? Well, I was born in Salem hospital, but I spent most of my growing up years on Beach Bluff Ave. in Swampscott, Mass. Do you know what comes from Swampscott Mass?

This woman comes from Swampscott, Mass.

Do you know what else comes from Swampscott, Mass?

The Dory was born in Swampscott, Mass.

And you'll never guess what else comes from Swampscott, Mass.

Duh! Fluff!

And most importantly, this last entity comes from Swampscott.

me! (i'm the one on the right) I came out of the woman on the left's vagina.

California here I come!

2006-09-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

hey all!

I get ten days off a year and I am spending the last five in Cali. I used to live in Santa Barbara and am returning for a wedding. After that i will be traveling to Big Bear and Joshua Tree National Park. The trip will end in Palm Springs where i will be chillin with my cousin Meg!

See you all in a week!

ciao!

-Erin

jammies

2006-09-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

remember being young and having those one piece jammies with the feetsies? well, i recently purchased a grownup pair! check me out! the pajamas give you that back in the womb feel.

time for MY kitties!

2006-09-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd show you some photos of my little darlings. Everone else is doing it...enjoy!

favorite day of the week..........

2006-09-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

So today is Friday and I was thinking to myself that today is my favorite day of the week. There are TWO whole days off to look forward to! Then I decided to rate in order from fav to least fav the seven days of the week.

Here it goes.

Friday, Saturday, Thursday, Wednesday, Monday, Sunday, and Tuesday.

Friday and Saturday are obvious, right?

Well here is the rest of my reasoning. Thursday is great because you have just gotten over the mid-week hump and you can look forward to Friday!.

Wednesday is next...it sucks in the beginning, but hey! the next day is over the hump!

Monday blows, but atleast you have some newly gained weekend energy...and there is an excuse to be slow because it is monday.

Sunday sucks because all you can think about is friggin Monday. And Tuesday is the suckiest day of all. It's just like a Monday, but you are all worn out and have nothing to look forward to except a sucky Wednesday morning. Also, there are no good tv shows on Tuesday night.

whiney bitch-ass men

2006-08-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

All I have to say today is that I cannot STAND whiney bitch ass men. I especially hate those who spend their time telling you how much work they do at home and at work meanwhile not lifting a single finger. and to top things off, no matter what you do they ALWAYS complain. It's like, close your fucking mouth and work or get the hell out of here.

Thanks

-Whip

ERINisms

2006-08-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well, know that I make small mistakes from time to time called, Erinisms. These Erinisms happen when I am really excited to tell someone a story and I mix up two words that sound the same, but have very different meanings. Today's Erinism is pinhead and hairpin. I was telling someone about a dangerous road and I told them that rt.127 has a lot of pinhead turns. I meant to say hairpin. Stay tuned for more Erinisms.

recognize these folks?

2006-08-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a nice photo of a group of friends many years after the filming of which movie?

I can paddle a boat, canoe?

2006-08-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hey! I am going canoeing this weekend on the Saco river. This river resembles a colon because it goes on forever, but you never travel beyond a 25 mile radius. It is also a partying river. When I was little I used to take camp trips on this river and would see drunk men pissing in it. Now that I am of age, I will have the chance to be that man. It is sad that the river has gotten this reputation, but if i can't beat em then I will join em!

Was I the only one who liked this show?

2006-08-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

I loved the show ALF. I feel like not enough people ever gave it a chance. ALF was funny! ALF was cute! And now when I mention the show to friends they tell me that he was annoying. Well, I just watched this video and I am pleased to say that I still love that Alien Life Form.

crap my pants!

2006-08-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

hahahahaha. anne and aaron both do frigging AWESOME impersonations of this commercial. Does anyone remember this?

Hey, Anne! This one is for you!

2006-08-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Oneday, Anne called me up to ask me what the theme song to Perfect Strangers sounded like. Well, here it is! Oh the good old days with Balky Bartokomous and Coosin Larry. My dad always loved it when he would say, "get out of the city!"

why i won't settle for religion...

2006-08-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

When I was little I watched this show. I was three years old and would not kiss my parents on the lips because 3-2-1 contact taught me about germs. I also would not eat off the same plate as another person. I also believe that this television show played a role in my upbringing...I will always ask questions and will never settle on God.

Thank you.

Apply directly to the forehead

2006-08-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most annoying commercial I have seen in a long time. Whenever a company advertises for medication I don't see why they can't tell you what the medication is for....my first thoughts on this commercial? i thought it was zit creme...what do you think?

Oh God! Oh String Theory!

2006-07-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

Hi there. Another fartless thought brought to you by the oh so fartful whipcreamy. For those of you who don't know me I do not believe in God. My disbelief in God is something that I have had since I can remember. I just don't even go there...never did and never will. Interestingly enough I believed in Santa, the bunny, and the toothfairy up until a recent age. I also believed that there was a real somebody named Jack Frost. While I do not mind being mislead as a child on these fun characters, I do not understand why people honestly think there is this supernatural being up there in the sky... i mean, come on...it is a little naive...kind of like a child's innocence. I'm not gonna try and tell anybody what really is out there, but I am gonna be the first to admit that we really don't know.

Now many people try and tell me that if I don't know, that I am really an agnostic. Atheists believe in no God, and agnostics are not sure. Well I am SURE that there is no God, but I am not sure of the alternative.

Have you ever looked into a mirror while there was a mirror behind you? That is what I think of the universe and beyond...it keeps going and going and going and going. I also believe that our brains are not advanced enough to comprehend the capabilitites of the Universe. So instead of living my life by a useless set of somebody's man made rules, I live by my own...yes...many of my own morals are probably adopted from Judeo-Christian morals, but I will not ruin my knees or waste my Sunday mornings by praying to some fake scary person in the sky.

thanks.

me.

POP goes the zit and the zit goes POP

2006-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

I love popping zits. More than popping my own zits I like to pop other people's zits. I am not sure why I enjoy this so, but it has something to do with the release of pressure. Back when I worked at a spa I had dreams of becoming an esthetician. You can get certified to pop a zit the safe way! I still think that maybe oneday I will take an esthetician course, but not to start a business...no...i'd just get certified so i can pop other people's zits and do it with the least amount of scarring. My boyfriend does not let me pop his zits....it is so tempting when there is a swelling mound on his back, but he just won't give in to my begs. If I had a zit on my back that was about to explode it would be gone is T plus a million seconds....ie: it wouldn't even get a chance. yes, popping zits is a bad habit and you don't want to pop them prematurely, but how can you not dig your fingers into a tender pimple? It takes will power...and I will never be capable of attaining it.

I can fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream I could fly. It came so naturally! I didn't have wings..all I had to do was flap my arms and run really fast. It worked best when I had a lot of room to run. I could also put people on my back and transport them places. Even though it felt great to fly, I also had this chip on my shoulder. I wanted to go back to all the people who were mean to me in the past and show them what I was now capable of doing. In one part of my dream I searched for an ex-boyfriend so that I could impress him. He was so impressed by my new skill that he wanted to be with me. Why did I get a good feeling from impressing sucky people? The dream didn't really end, I must have woken up halfway...but it doesn't matter. I woke up and feel weird about this dream. You'd think that a flying dream would signify the feeling of freedom, but all I wanted to do was show my flying ass off. well...atleast it made me think.

It's the Roo! That's what I'M talkin' about!

2006-05-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. On June 14th, me along with four other lovely women will be making our way to a long weekend of neverlandness. Bonnaroo Baby! Yes...the perfect vacation. Five girlfriends, no men, lots of green stuff, lots of cervaeza, breakfast burritos, camping, and ofcourse 24/7 live music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have been waiting for this day to come since we came home from the Austin City Limits Music Fest last September. Did I mention this is going to be the perfect vacation? Liz and I have been trying to grow our hair and bring back some college styles (long braids, hippie skirts, unshaven legs...actually i had to shave the legs) and it is getting me in the roo mood. Bonnaroo is in Tennessee and has been known to be one of the best festivals to see....even in the pouring rain and 90 degree high humidity heat.....i will definately post pictures upon my return. i am gonna be one dirty bitch.

Oh...one of the reasons i am posting this is so I can talk about our flag. Since there will be many a folk attending the Roo, it will be hard to find our tent after a day of jamming it up. We will be constructing a flag made out of PVC piping and a cast iron lawn wedge. Instead of raising a flag we are going to stick a plastic baby on the top of the pole and call it the Bonnaroo Baby...any suggestions for a baby costume? I was thinking a big fat joint in its mouth, but after that i am not sure....suggestions folks....anyone? or as anne would say, "Bueller?"

counting down the days.......

tilt-a-whirl

2006-05-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

this ride sucks. it makes you want to hurl. there is no control.

It all comes down to poop.

2006-05-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend about poop? I'm talking feces here folks. The reason I ask is because the subject is taboo in this World, yet I know everybody talks about it with someone. You look at someone like Paris Hilton and there are men who probably believe that she never shits, but she does and so does the Queen, Condoleeza Rice, Laura Bush, and DAMN even Ms. America takes a smelly dump from time to time. So why is it that people pretend poop is not there? Why is it that you are never REALLY settled into a relationship until you can talk about your bowel movements with your partner? Cuz let me tell you...once you can talk about your schedule with your man or woman the relationship gets a lot better. And don't read this and think disgusting either....because I know you have talked about your poop before with someone...I bet you've even talked about it's consistency with someone.

So now that we have that out of the way, I want to know your opinion on this "gun to your head" scenario. Okay. Here it goes. Gun to your head. You have to eat poop. The only choice you get is whose poop you get to eat. Here are your choices.

a. robin williams (that one is for you, anne)
b. nicolas cage (that one is for you, liz)
c. Big Papi (after an 11 inning Yankees game, but before his shower)
d. Carrot Top

pick one.

after you pick one i will let you eat the poop with food (so that it will wash down faster).

here are you choices

a. mexican
b. chinese
c. italian
d. chili

reply to this with your answer please.

cat? or frog?

2006-05-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

did you know that a cat can mate with a frog? well, now you know.

the definition of art...

2006-04-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am sure many of you have pondered this question: What is art? Or perhaps you are a know it all and think you already know the answer. The problem that I have with this question is...how can ANYONE be so sure of the definition of art? I've heard of people who take dumps on plates and call it art. I've been to the museum of fine arts and seen some famous works. Is everyone an artist? Can you only be an artist if you have a pice of work shown in a museum?

Recently I purchased my own loft apartment in a community for artists. Everyone who has welcomed me has asked me what type of art I specialize in. I do not paint, nor do I sculpt, draw, or paper mache...does that mean I am not an artist?

I love to cook. I have made some of the best dinners in my new place over the last couple of days. That means I am a cook....right? If some one asks me which type of art I specialize in am I allowed to say the art of cooking?

The art question has been on my mind over the last couple of weeks and I would love to know your thoughts.

Yours truly,

Erin
Artist

dollhouse

2006-03-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

Last week I found my sister's dollhouse sitting in the dumpster...it made me cry. I used to love that dollhouse....and my father decided to throw it out. I even called my sister to let her know it was going away....she said it was okay.